My childhood and teenage years was spent criticizing my own shortcomings. I was confused and angry of the confusion. But now as I slowly enter my mid-twenties through each hurdle life has thrown at me, I am fathoming the art of acceptance. My life is becoming a delightful book to read. So I reminisce through the pages of this precarious story and listed few essential things I’ve learned that can also be relatable with the rest of my 20-something fellow mates.
- Stilettos or Slippers, what matters is you are comfortable: Whatever you choose to wear, whatever you wrap around your body, choose those that will keep you comfortable. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are always anxious on the way you look or what you wear. You are more than what people categorize you to be through your exterior. Avoid those self-proclaimed judges and their prejudiced remarks. Be your own judge, and if you feel like slippers in your cocktail party dress, you do you.
- You are not responsible to everyone’s happiness: Each mind has its own way of describing happiness. So if you think you can make 8 billion people in this world happy, then you should give up already. Your one action to make one individual happy might be unpleasing to ten others, or the other way around. You can only be responsible for your own happiness and you should work on that rather than for the rest of the world who is fighting for their own bliss.
- It is never the end of the world: Even though there will be few issues that might be unrepairable, it will never be the end of the world. Today might feel miserable, but you still have tomorrow to make yourself feel better. Learn to let go of things that don’t follow as you had planned. Don’t hesitate to apologize ff you have caused pain on someone with your mistakes. Life is not perfect and one simply cannot live without making mistakes. They are a part of our growth and instead of mopping about it for days, learn your lesson and get over it.
- Not everyone stays, and that’s okay: Your life is about you; your choices, your lessons, your growth. It sure involves other important people that you surround yourself with, but it doesn’t revolve around them. The same goes to your friends and family; their life doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve around you. As you realize this, you will end up loosing people from your life you once cherished and that’s fine. It is better to let go of people with the happy memories shared together before holding on gets harder.
- Loneliness isn’t always despondent: Sometimes, you need to allow your mind to think nothing and just relax. You need to let your heart feel numbness as it beats in a peaceful rhythm. Your body cannot function properly if your vital organs are too busy thinking and worrying about everyone you know. Learn to be on your own at times and acknowledge that isolation isn’t as bad as the world accuse it to be. Loneliness is just an emotion, it is a part of you, as to happiness, sadness or love
- Heart breaks. Let your heart break: Only after you fall over your bicycle you learn to ride. Only after burning the batter a couple of times you end up with a perfect sponge cake. Only after breaking your heart completely you will learn to put the pieces back again. A lover, a friend, a family member, an incident, a dream, a hope; anything could make you feel shattered and hurt with the same intensity. It’s as you start picking up the pieces you learn who you really are and what you exactly want. That will be the best compensation.
- Love isn’t always all that matters: Love is beautiful. Love is magical. Love makes you feel like there is no tomorrow. But love isn’t all. And clinging on the belief that finding your one and only will bring joy in your life is a waste of time. Surely it will bring happiness, but it won’t last if you haven’t learned to be happy on your own. Love is only a bonus, when you realize you are the real deal.
- Feeling lost isn’t bad. Not trying to find your way back could be: No one in this world has all the answers. So it’s not bad that you don’t know what you are doing, what you want with your life and which path to choose. Take your time in finding out about yourself and keep on doing until you think you have an answer for at least one question among the many pondering in your head. Not knowing the answer is an apprehension, not trying to know the answer is ignorance.
- Pain is your friend, a counselor and your well-wisher: We all want a life that has a little more joy and a lot less agony. We all thrive for success, satisfaction and serenity. To us, pain seems like the biggest obstacle to gain these pursuits of happiness. What we don’t realize is that it is due to pain that we value these pursuits; it is due to failure that we desperately search for success, satisfaction after disappointment. It is only after going through chaotic hell that our life finds serenity. Pain teaches you the most about life, kindness, humility and gratitude. Learn to see pain as a sympathetic friend, an attentive counselor and you will end up with a well-wisher who visits you time again to make you wiser.
- You cannot force things, you can only do your best: Life is unpredictable. Life is uncertain. Life is ambiguous and unfair. No matter how well you plan and how hard you try to stick to your intention, sometimes things just don’t work out your way. We all know it. So why ponder on those sudden anticlimax and drown yourself with sorrow? Wouldn’t it be a waste of time trying to force things to make it your way when you can clearly see that is not working? Why force yourself through a door when it is not opening for you? Do your best to get to the door and let the universe decide if you are worthy to be on the other side of the door. “Do your best. Let the universe do the rest.” Life becomes a meaningless battle if you don’t understand this concept
“25 years and my life is still…
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope…
For a destination……”
Through the pain, heart breaks, loneliness and confusion, I hope life treats you kind. I hope you smile through each day and thrive on finding who you really are. I hope your life becomes your own favorite book.