To The One I Bid Adieu

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Being someone who has always remained superficial in the idea of love and “The One”, it came as a surprise to me on how hooked I got to Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away”. Among all the love songs I had heard, this one had the most realistic approach to love and the idea on how not all love stories have a happy ending. Despite having someone you connect, love and desire, you don’t always end up together because life doesn’t always work that way. Things and situations that come up causes a need to walk away from each others’ lives despite every effort you put to stay together. Circumstances tear two people apart who dearly love each other and promises that were made are left unkept. Unlike some extraordinary couples, who battle through every thick and thin, many lovers just end up being two strangers who once shared an incredible love. That is what life does. At times, it doesn’t always give you the things you believe you’re meant to have.

And so, we wish to have another life; So that we can keep all the promises to stand by each other and face against the world. We ask for maybe another chance, in another life, where you can make them stay and not label each other with “The One That Got Away”. They are the ones whom we wish we had another shot, another chance, even if it were to be in a different life. Because the ones who got away don’t leave with a bad breakup, falling out of love or being cheated on. You wouldn’t be designating them as “The One” had it been so easy to walk away.

That was what I had thought when I first labeled you as my “The One”. I knew life wasn’t a gentle walk in a garden. No matter how much I loved you, my doubts on a love that lasted forever always remained somewhere in the corners of my heart. Even though I loved you through every drop of blood flowing through my vain, I contemplated on the inevitable of lives we lived. But I had faith in the bond we shared and if we were to walk away, I was confident that only life and its predestined circumstances would tear us apart. No one, could come in between us.

Until you chose someone else. Until you walked away. Until you broke my heart into pieces I couldn’t mend. Until I felt the feeling of abandonment for the first time. The surreal feeling of pain that started off right from my chest and slowly accelerated throughout my body, made me numb and unable to feel no other pain. Each morning felt like a loosing battle; my brain knew that I had to fight, but my wounded heart had already surrendered. Every night felt like drowning; the more I tried to swim across the ocean of your memories, the more I found myself drowning inside it. Without once giving a second thought, you claimed that we were broken, that no efforts made could fix us. Without even trying enough, you gave up on us, and everything we had went through. I begged for you to stay but you were already gone. I struggled to stand while you glided with ease. I cried my pain out for months while you smiled beside someone new. I intoxicated myself to forget my loss while you celebrated your gain. You broke me. You broke us, in a way I had never expected.

And yet I healed. I mended every broken pieces you had left hanging inside me and fixed them on my own. Surely it took me several months, but I didn’t lean on someone to save me. I grieved for the relationship that had ended and fought every tear with a brave heart. I became my own person, my own hero, my own savior. I found devotion among friends and families around me, the kind that didn’t waver. I met new people, the ones who went through rough times but still chose to smile. I went places i’d never been, where I inhaled hope back inside my soul. Each day, I chose to overlook the fact that I was broken and instead focused in healing. I learned to love myself the way I had loved you once, unconditionally. I smiled brighter and as I changed each day, today, months from the day when you first left me, I have become a different me; a better version of me.

I have accepted the fact that you were never the one that got away. Because “The One” would’ve never left me for another; “The One” would’ve never made me feel like I was an option; “The One” would’ve never moved on as quickly as you did. “The One That Got Away” would’ve given up only after trying all he could, smiled only after taking some time to grief, grown stronger after going through the pain and finally moved on, only after acknowledging the loss. Maybe I am wrong, perhaps that is not how things go. But if I am right, I hate to break it to you that I must’ve been “The One That Got Away” all along.

So, to you, the one who walked away, I thank you for abandoning me when i needed you most. I thank you for the heartbreak, the excruciating pain, the unstoppable tears, the dark days that showed no light, the numbness and the loneliness. Only after experiencing all that you put me through I learned to become more of me, explore new parts of me and accept the fact that no matter what happens, life goes on. Love isn’t about the promises but the endeavor, not the memories but the realities. It isn’t the stubbornness of never giving up but the appreciation of letting go. You don’t find love when you’ve discovered the perfect comfort or chemistry. Instead you find it when you finally stop the search. Love isn’t about finding “The One” and your happy ending, but recognizing the eternal love even in a bittersweet farewell.

Thanks to your desertion, I have learned the true meaning of love. It might’ve not been a fond adieu, but at least I found the good in goodbye.

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