My life took a 180 turn within few weeks. I started studying to apply for a grad school abroad, i got an internship in an international organization and was immediately involved in assisting for a National level event. My weekdays demanded full attention at work and weekends would be for individual studies. I barely had time to eat properly and a sudden flu had to be backed up by doses of paracetamols and antibiotics to get me back on track.
Sometimes, while sitting in the bus back home, i got the liberty to daze off and reminisce my life in brief. While doing so, I recalled many people in my life; my friends that i didn’t have time to meet; my parents whom i hardly saw despite living under the same roof; my dear cousins who were countries and hours apart…. But most of all, I missed that version of me who was filled with passion for life and wanted to live like there was no tomorrow. I pined for that girl, who stood up to all the challenges and bet on her life for any adventure that came to her.
Maybe that was the age, youth when everything had a strong meaning attached to itself. Perhaps it was the undying enthusiasm for oneself and no other to worry apart from your own. But eventually, life must’ve tired me down. After all that vivacity, maybe all i wanted now was to slow down, to take a break. No, i am not talking about staying at home and just laying flat like a carpet, or a long recession to travel the world, because let’s be real… who has such infinite source of money anyway? What i meant was after all the tiring effort i put on my life, maybe what i wanted was stressless weekends that i could spend having a cup of coffee with the few friends left in my life. I might want to enjoy few weeks off work to see new places alone and few days making memories with my family.
Someday, down the line i might want to be busy and occupied again. The energy that my youth contained might burst itself out and i would crave for a hectic life. After a few years, for all i know, i might complain how monotonous and boring my life had become…. but perhaps boring is exactly what my soul needs right now. Constantly running for 24 years of my life, at this time i want to stand and appreciate whatever i have in my life.
If you too long for that dullness and you wonder what might be wrong with you, assure yourself that you have ran enough to deserve this motionless state. If you are running everyday and enjoying the run, don’t stop building yourself. Aim for that star and keep on moving ahead. However, time and again, do hit the pause button to appreciate all that is left in your life. You never know, years from now you might be sitting in the same bus and contemplating, “if only life had slowed down a little back then…”